Crush em’ before they crush you

Barbara isn’t a real-life person in my world, rather she’s is my inner critic, *|FNAME|*, you have one too, right? Maybe just haven’t given her a name yet. You really should as it helps to tell her off and walk right out of your head.

So, my inner Barbara, she’s mean. She knows just how to activate my self-doubt. “You can’t accomplish that goal! You weren’t meant to have good things in your life. You are fat and ugly. You are a quitter. You won’t finish that race. You are going to fail again. Wow, you are going to eat all of that?” 

I hadn’t thought to give my self-doubt a name until one of my shortie idols, Rachel Hollis, a keynote speaker brought her out of the light at a women’s conference. I think confidence is built and it empowers yourself by naming your inner critic and gives authority to call that “B” out!

What hit home the most was Rach’s exercise to imagine this person standing face to face with you. You see all the person’s features as they are saying these awful things out loud to you. Now if you are defensive like me, you may have envisioned taking this person out for saying these awful things to you. The first thing that comes to mind as Barbara is running her mouth at me while in front of my girls, is, “She better run fast, ‘cuz it’s about to get real up in here.” Not like I’m Flo fast, but I’m fast enough when full of rage that it would feel like a Mack truck just hit her going down Interstate 80. Boom.

CONQUERING SELF-DOUBT 

I think confidence is built and it empowers yourself by naming your inner critic and to crush your self-doubt. Call that B!%#& out! Call them out when they are being utter crap to you. You wouldn’t put up with someone walking up to you and saying these things. Don’t let YOURSELF do it either, and try to get this person on the outside of your headspace. That way they can be removed and walked away from. Don’t end with a preposition; possible last sentence could be “Remove them and walk away.” Sometimes there is more power in walking away than any word or words could ever express.

When you don’t particularly enjoy being around someone, you avoid them. Use this mental edit to empower yourself to crush your self-doubt. You can think Barbara is just trying to keep you safe, but she can have such a negative impact on your life. Consistency and routine will help boost your confidence levels and allow you to tackle and overcome those challenges to crush that self-doubt. It’s natural for our brains to pick up on negativity and its something we all experience. We are all susceptible to that inner “Barbara” is the loudest voice in our head out of them all. She doesn’t have to smother all your creativity and fuel that self doubt.

Train yourself to think “this, not that”

Here are some other examples to draw to mind when you need to build confidence as you start down that black hole in your mind about yourself. Thankfully ‘ole motivational speaker, Mel Robbins for ways to trick ourselves into thinking “this – not that” to disrupt our regularly scheduled mental beating and to keep us positive.

This: I am so ready for this challenge NOT: You are a quitter

This: I am proud of this body and all that it has gotten me through: hours of child labor – hello! NOT: You are fat and ugly

This: I am fueling my body for nutrition NOT: Wow, you are going to eat all of that?

This: I love myself a little more every day NOT: I hate myself

There is so much power in positive thinking. It can pull your mood back into the lane you want to head, rather than the dumps and pull others there with you. I’m not saying IT’S EASY because it isn’t, and I struggle with this so often. I force myself to pull out my “pump up playlist” even when it would be, but so much easier than suffering and being pissed off. Music completely helps to inspire a good mood and creates some sort of healing vibes.  If I’m not happy, that’s on me. No one else is responsible for our happiness, and we are given one life to be as happy as can be. Getting “Barbara” under control makes liking myself a whole lot better, compared to struggling with my inner self.

DON’T LET BARBARA WIN

Remember to treat yourself with empathy, and reiterate that nobody is perfect. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and encourage yourself to go after those goals and crush your self-doubt. Turn down that volume on Barbara, or even better mute her. It will do wonders for your confidence level and overall well-being. Life is too short to be a Barbara! Next time self-doubt creeps into your life remember you have a big grown set of ovaries and you can tell that voice to F off, and truly enjoy the present moment for the past is ohhhh so yesterday!

“And while you’re in the process of going back to positive, remember it is a skill. You practice it one thought at a time, over and over again. When it comes to the way you think, you’re going to practice this skill FOR-EVAH.” Mel Robbins.