Show Up for Yourself Starting Now!
In my 30-something years on Earth, I need to show up for me. I’ve learned the hard way that going through the motions isn’t the same as being present in life. I spent too much time ignoring what I wanted. I was busy with my family, job, and all I needed to get done every day. There were things I knew I wanted to do someday, but I had all the time in the world after my kids were more self-sufficient, and I had more time (yes, I disillusioned myself that time would magically appear).
I carried on like this for a long time. Until my life was threatened by something unexpected that made me realize I needed to start showing up for myself.
MANIFEST IT BY SHOWING UP
To show up is hard. But for all of you out there going through the motions, trying to survive the days, I see you.
And I’m cheering for you to show up for yourself. Day after day – even on the hard ones. Night after night – even after the sleepless ones. Show up, especially when it’s the last thing you want to do.
Always remember no matter what the day brings, you need to power through to get where you want to go.
“Each time you move toward your goal is a win. You’re showing yourself that you are in control of your life,” said Kelly LeVeque in her book Body Love.
CONTROL YOUR DESTINY
The word I want you to focus on in that quote is control. There will always be things we can’t control, but if you want something in life, you have to go for it. You can control the direction you’re going. There isn’t anyone else who wants it more than you or will show up for you.
Chances are no one else even knows what you want besides your inner self because you’ve been too timid to say it out loud. Sound about right? I hear ya! I used to be the same way, thinking no one cared to hear about my long-term vision for my life.
But your family and friends do care about what will make you the happiest. You may not realize it yet, but sharing your inner dreams helps the important people in your life support you. Help them help you!
And for all those naysayers you’re worried about? Who cares about what those people think? They probably have their own inner critics holding them back. And this is about you, remember?! This is your life.
So lace up those running shoes, jump on a bike, join a fitness club, get more involved in your community, pull out that easel – do whatever it is that brings you closer to your goals. Embrace joy in life. Be a happy woman (because yes, happiness is a choice). Show that person to yourself, others, your kids, and the world.
EXPOSE YOUR DREAM
I never imagined I’d start a blog. My thing was always standing on the sidelines admiring other public speakers. My inner voice doubted my abilities – I could never stand in front of a group of strangers and motivate them to act like these other beautiful women. Mel Robbins, Rachel Hollis, Jenna Kutcher, and all the other women in the influencer industry crushing it in the world…my admiration for what they do motivates me every day. They haven’t let fear or “lack of feeling like it” stand in their way. They wouldn’t be where they are today if they’d succumbed to their inner voices, right? Those people don’t just start on the top. The Mels, Rachels, and Jennas that we watch in awe began as average people like you and me. They fought for what they wanted and continued to push forward to help others see their own value.
Here’s what I’ve learned: by keeping my dream to myself, that’s all it was ever going to be. A thought without any action is not a dream; it’s hope. Be visible in your dreams.
Now I’m not crushing it by making money starting this blog. But it fills a void to help others in my heart. The best part comes when someone reaches out after opening their email and says they’ve read the word vomit in their inbox courtesy of yours truly, and it resonates with them. When they tell me they feel every word I wrote, and it fills them with joy and appreciation that they aren’t alone in their feelings. Knowing I made a difference in even one person’s day means I’m achieving my dream.
The moral of this part of my story is simple. You’re busy. And that’s not going to change. But don’t let your dreams get buried under a pile of laundry, underneath some dirty dishes in the sink, or worse…under other people’s baggage. I’m here showing up for you, now it’s your turn to make it happen.
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
This void-filling blog is only part of my path. My ultimate goal is to make a career out of helping other women become more confident in themselves. I’m a crop insurance agent by occupation, but in my heart, I yearn to be a creative motivational speaker. Someday I hope to book speaking gigs, teach online learning courses, and hell, maybe even publish a book. I’m willing to do it all if I can reach one person along the way with my message and it truly helps them.
Let me be even more real with you. Most times, what I’m writing about is so freaking real, it’s uncomfortable for me to read it back to myself. But I promised I would be real, raw, and honest so that others will feel there’s someone who gets them, and it will spark something that makes them want to tackle their stuff, too.
One key point I want to make about showing up for yourself – you need to believe in yourself. You need to be your number one fan. Don’t let other people get in your head. Stay positive and be in tune with yourself, physically and emotionally. When one of those bad days happens, don’t give up. It’s just a bad day, everyone has them, and the sun will come up tomorrow (Feel free to break into song here. That little Annie knew what she was talking about.)
Through it all remember you are not alone. I’m here reassuring you that you can run your first Couch to 5K, you can declutter your house so you feel less chaos, you can find ways to simplify your cleaning routine so you’re not cleaning all weekend long, you can own your wellness.
You can do anything you want with only a few shifts in your habits. And here I am, people! I’m taking my own baby steps to get there with you!
TURN UP YOUR INTENTIONS
When we know what it takes to get where we want, why do we avoid it like death? Are we afraid to fail, or worse, are we afraid to succeed? Sometimes I catch myself scrolling social media, which leads to online shopping. Or I’ll tackle house projects that aren’t on my radar, but I give in to the distraction. I subconsciously seek “busy” tasks to keep me preoccupied. That behavior keeps me from making progress and pushes my goals farther away.
Procrastination is a safe zone. But it often results in guilt.
“If I would have used the girls’ nap times to work on editing, I wouldn’t have to get up early today.” This is a common one for me.
My procrastination in working on blog content usually means my editor gets it late, which gives her less time to work on something before it needs to go out. See how avoiding what I know needs to be done throws everything else off course? Pushing yourself toward your dreams is worth your time and effort, especially when you don’t want to do it. There is a reason those dreams were planted in your heart, so follow that purpose.
WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?
Can you think of something you would love to achieve, but you are burying it with other time-consuming tasks? What’s holding you back? Be honest with yourself. Is it a good reason or are you making excuses?
When I’m holding myself back, I try to recall the moments when I’ve had laser focus for two hours straight – I can knock out so many things on my list that it usually takes a full day’s worth of time. It’s genuinely a blissful feeling to be so accomplished in a short amount of time.
I know you’ve been there yourself. Remember how good that productivity feels. Use that memory to recreate the drive and push forward.
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION
Have you ever found yourself taking your unfulfilled dreams out on your spouse? If you haven’t shared your long-term vision with them, cut them some slack! They can’t read your mind (and sometimes, it’s lucky as hell they can’t!), so it’s unfair to tell them off for something they don’t know.
Before you share anything, maybe it’s time to put some order to your inner aspirations. I like the 36 Love Questions relationship quiz from the NY Times (from the link, scroll down to the 3 sets of questions). It’s a fun quiz that forces you to answer questions about what you want. It will help YOU release whatever it is from your mind so you can let the most important people know what’s going on in your beautiful brain. Bonus; you’ll learn more about your partner’s needs as well.
IT’S UP TO YOU
No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do…besides you. Not me, not your mama, not any other motivational being. In my experience, I have to be so pissed at myself (or cutting it so close on a deadline) to flipping take action! Ladies, let’s… get pissed! We need to stop thinking we can’t go after the things we long for in our hearts. You absolutely CAN have your cake and eat it, too, without any guilt. (For the record, whoever invented that saying that you can’t was an idiot.)
No one else could make me eat the restricted diet after my thyroid surgery. The doctors recommended I follow it to suppress my thyroid levels but they couldn’t force me. No, I had to show up for myself as no one could do it for me. You know what? I did it. But guys, I had to give up all dairy! Talk about insult to injury. I was raised on a dairy farm. I was bred to love all the cheese and all the ice cream.
But I did it. I gave it up. Because I knew there was no other option, no quick fix. I had to do it to be healthy. And by myself. There was no microwaving that result.
CHOOSE PRIORITIES WELL
I’ve recently come to realize (after investing way more money than I was comfortable with for online education) that I’m afraid to succeed. I’m so scared to even start the damn course!
I’m forcing myself to realize I didn’t pay for the course in fear, so it’s time to stop being afraid to start. My message for myself and all of you is to do the work you know you can and show up for yourself. You are worth starting towards your dreams and goals. You are enough, but only you can realize your worth. Take chances. Go big. The only failure is not starting.
I’m listening to my own advice for once. Do yourself a favor and take the same advice. Don’t be afraid to succeed just because you are a woman or because you might fail. You are stronger than the fear in your gut, or else you wouldn’t have gotten this far in life. Focus on self-awareness and know what your body and mind need to keep going. Don’t allow yourself to drown in overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Always remember it takes a true warrior to push through life’s challenges and prove they have the power to keep showing up.
The most motivating factor for me is that I’m showing my babies to live their biggest dreams, too. If they see their mama crushing it and living fearlessly, they are more likely to emulate that boldness.
Do it for them. Do it for you. Show up for the person you want to be.
My final piece of advice: throw on your big girl panties, step into a power pose, and get ready to rock it.
If you are ready to take big leaps and are looking for the right guide to get you there. Let’s work together and get you there quicker! Contact me to line up a discovery call to make sure we are a fit.
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